Star Fits

Nothing humanizes a performer/celebrity more than seeing them backstage before a show. I’ve had the opportunity to witness many of the acts that play The Bell House from that unique vantage point and have seen the best and the worst of celebrity behavior. The boring truth is that ninety-percent or more of the artists behave like normal folk. They are there to do a job without a lot of nonsense, and if they are left alone they are usually decent and friendly. Here are a few exceptions to the rule: ~Witnessing a famous comedian screaming at a Chinese delivery girl because he had to wait forty-minutes for his Kung Pow Chicken. ~Stumbling upon four naked, large and hirsute members of a black metal band performing their ablutions in the slop sink. ~Shoveling up vomit of a famous host of an NPR show after he got drunk and before he passed out. ~Watching in shame as a grown man wept over a sandwich. ~Witnessing a tirade by the drummer of a famous garage rock band who refused to take the stage because the drum kit wasn’t to his ridiculous specifications. One of my favorite incidents involved the former lead singer of a once popular 80’s band. He was performing solo. I’d heard through the grapevine that his contract rider required the promoter to supply him with Tucks medicated pads to ease his hemorrhoids. I happened to be passing him backstage as he was about to enter the bathroom, Tucks in hand. My embarrassment was quelled when he looked me right in the eye, held up the Tucks and said with genuine gratitude, “Hey man, thanks for getting my ass medicine.” That was awesome.